By popular demand *lol*, the girls wanted me to do a blog about what guys with good intentions REALLY want from girls.
Again, these are NOT listed from most important to least. No one thing is more important then another so just soak in the information and use it to better yourself and the world around you.
1) They Don't Want You Drop Dead Sexy ALL The Time
Girls, one thing a good man can't STAND is having a girl who is high maintenance ALL THE TIME! And sometimes, its enough to make them want to run the opposite direction. A good man will actually be more attracted to a girl who lets her natural beauty show through then one that puts on TONS of make-up and over-accessorizes. And even a small handful rather have a girl who wears no make-up at all. Any guy who TELLS you, you have to be made up all the time or doesn't seem to want you when you aren't looking 100% is up to NO GOOD I tell you.
2) They Want A Girl Who Realizes That Being Together Doesn't Mean You Have To Be Together All The Time
I have many of my guy friends say they have left girls because they just didn't understand that they loved them but didn't want to be around them all the time. Being in a relationship with a guy doesn't give you the right to be around them all the time. Yea, I said it...JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO BE AROUND THEM, NOR HAVE THE RIGHT, TO BE AROUND THEM ALL THE TIME.
Guys need their alone time. The time where they don't have to worry you and they can worry about themselves. Time to hang out with their friends, scratch their balls, and play video games ALL DAY LONG without worrying about what you think. Guys are looking for girls who understand this and realize that it isn't anything against you and won't freak out about it.
Trust me girls, having time apart from your guy only makes them love and want you more!
3) Guys Want Girls To Get Dirty With Them
No, I'm not talking about in the bed dirty. I'm talking about sitting on the couch all day without bathing or going out on a fishing trip with them and handling blood worms and dead fish. They want a girl who isn't afraid to get down in the dirt with them in the name of bonding. One of my guy friends said they knew they wanted to marry their wife when she went hunting with him, even though she told him once before that she HATED the great outdoors. She went, she didn't complain one bit, and they actually had tons of fun. Now, mind you, he did say she hasn't gone again since that day but he really appreciated what she did out of love for him.
4) They Want Girls Who Have Their Own Money/Girls Who Aren't Out To Use Them As Their Meal Ticket/Girls Who Are Independent
Good guys HATE girls who expect them to buy EVERYTHING! It is a BIG turn off for them. No, they aren't cheap. And no, they don't expect you to pay for everything on your dates. They want a girl who is independent, who isn't going to depend on them in the relationship to go places and do things. A girl is who going to work with them to make the most out of relationship and help move it forward.
They want a girl who will offer to pay for their share of the date when you paid for it the last two times. They want a girl who will pick up the DVDs and the take out for your planned night in together. A girl who doesn't expect them to pay for getting your nails done just because they did it once before. An independent woman is the sexiest woman in the world to a good man.
5) They Want A Girl Who Doesn't Want To Completely Change Them
Ok, girls, I know them smacking while they eat or leaving the toilet seat up can, and probably should, be changed but girls, him not minding being wrinkly every once in a while or not liking art or wanting to know anything about art are things that you shouldn't try to change. Good guys want a girl who will accept them as they are, not take him on because they want to give him an ambush make-over. Trust me, you show him that you love him with all his flaws and he'll WANT to change them along the way because he knows it gets under your skin. GOOD guys do that for girls who are worth it.
6) They Want A Girl Who Is Willing To Bend Themselves A Little Bit
Good guys want girls they can be with for the long run and having a girl who is willing to change themselves a little bit to be a better fit for them is a must. I'm not telling you guys to lower your standards or accepting way less then you deserve but come on, having standards like "must make 120k a year" or "must have straight teeth, perfect hair, and be able to tan " are just stupid.
If your guy likes spending the weekend at the track, don't be upset when he chooses to go there over coming to your house to spend the weekend, especially when you see him every day during the week. If the guy works on the 3 days that you have off, make plans one month to change your days off so you two can be off at the same time. Showing that you are willing to sacrifice to be their girl will make them want to give you all their heart and they will gladly return the favor 3 fold!
7) They HATE Girls Who Can't Get Over Things
Every good guy is looking for a girl who can forgive them when they make an honest mistake because, yes, even good guys mess up. They don't want a girl who is going to hold every single mistake and mishap over their head like a noose. Ok, he forgot that you guys had planned a date this Saturday. Don't stay mad with him for 2 or 3 weeks after he has said sorry and made it up to you by taking you out somewhere SUPER nice the very next night, completely on him. Holding a grudge over petty things will only keep you from finding a good guy or losing one.
Showing posts with label What. Show all posts
Showing posts with label What. Show all posts
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
What Is A Healthy Romantic Relationship?
One of my online buddies asked me about this the other day and it made me realize that not alot of people know the answer to it. It will be different for different people but the basics of it will be the same.
A healthy romantic relationship is about give and take, living, and growing. I know you are thinking, "That is so cliche" but hear me out for a minute. Being in a romantic relationship isn't about being with your partner all the time. In fact, a sign of an unhealthy relationship is being with your romantic partner ALL THE TIME! If you are with your girlfriend or boyfriend all the time, how can you appreciate them in the first place?
Couples need their separate alone time...if they don't get it then the relationship would just lose its luster. I'm not saying spend months or even weeks apart but at least spend a weekend or 2 a month away from your partner. And I'm talking about willing time apart. Counting the time you spend away from your partner because you are working or something along those lines DOES NOT COUNT! I know, at work you are probably missing your partner like crazy but trust me...being forcefully away from your partner isn't the same as willingly giving your partner space.
Having mutual time away from each other will give you something to look forward to when it IS time to be together. When you willingly spend time away from your partner, your mind is free to wonder and ponder, PLUS, it gives you time to do things that you need to get done. You can clean your house, finish up paperwork, think about future plans, and other things that when you're around the love of your life you just don't want to do because you want to spend all your time with them.
Another thing that most people don't realize is that the love of your life HAS to be your partner-in-crime in a sense. You guys have to have common ground or else, well, not to sound bitter or anything, it just ain't gonna last. And no amount of counseling or time apart is going to repair what was broken in the first place. If you are the kind of guy who likes to go out a couple of nights a week, loves to fish, and flop in front of your TV and play video games for long periods of time...you are going to need a girl who likes 2 out of 3 of those things. If you have a girlfriend who hates all 3 of the favorite things you like to do then...I'm pretty sure after a year or two, if the relationship lasts that long, you are going to either 1) grow bored of her or 2) grow annoyed with her. Both aren't good to feel towards your partner. This brings me to my next point...
Partners need to have a fair bit of common ground if you are going to be in a healthy relationship together but having EVERYTHING in common can be dangerous ground to walk on too. If you like all of the same things, it doesn't leave anywhere for you to grow together. You will fall into a cycle of same-ness it will leave you feeling uncomfortable and bored. You need something to thrive off of, need things to learn and new activities that you can try together. If you like football and your partner doesn't, you can have fun showing them the joys of it. If your partner likes art and it just isn't your thing, you can learn something by going with your partner to an art show. Having common interests yet having differences leads to giving and taking, which is essential to keeping the luster and life in a relationship!
If you are with your partner because of a materialistic reason, then you are staying in a relationship for ALL THE WRONG REASONS! Being with your partner because they have a job or a car isn't a good enough reason to be with someone. In fact, make a list of why you are with your partner and cross out anything that is physical or materialistic. Some examples: because they have a car, because they have a job, because they have money, because they give you a ride, because they give you stuff, because they are sexy, because they agree to do most of what you say, because they have big boobs, because they have a pretty smile, because they love you, ect. All these are NOT reasons to be with your partner.
You should want to be with your partner because they make you feel good, because they care about you, they help you better yourself, because you enjoy time with them. You should want to be with your partner because you feel that even if the relationship ended, you would still have a great friend and someone who will always be there for you, through thick or thin. Someone that you see in your life for a long time because of the simple fact that they help make life easier for you not because of the sex, car, or money but because they want to share life with you at an easy, encouraging pace.
You might be thinking right now that, with the way I'm talking, you should be thinking about marriage from the first date. NO, that is not what I'm saying. I can understand that there are people out there that AREN'T looking for forevers and always but something steady and enjoyable. Even if you only want something commit-full in the here and now, you still have to consider these possibilities. Relationships are like oceans, even when they are calm, you can still see and feel the changing of the tide and the movement of the water. If your relationship has stopped moving forward, if there isn't any more movement, not even a change in the tide then it is time for you two to go your separate ways.
A relationship should always be moving, changing, growing together yet growing individually as well. It should be something familiar yet always bring something new to the table every once in a while. There shouldn't be okay days, there should be great days. And yes, there will be bad days! EVERY relationship is going to have bad days and hard patches but you have to think about why the bad days are happening. If you only have a great day every month or even every week...then maybe the person you are with just isn't healthy for you.
In the end, these are only the basics and guidelines to a health romantic relationship. Everyone is different and everyone wants something different from the person they are with. Some people are just looking to fill the loneliness while others are looking for something that could be forever and always, with or without marriage.
I'm the kind of person that I could be in a relationship and not really take it personal if I was with that person for 7 years and still not heard "The Question". Now, mind you, if we've been together for 12 years we might as well get married because we have to be CRAZY about each other if we are still together that long in the state the world is in now a days. I want someone that I can sit down and play video games with one day and go out to a car show the next and then the next day just screw each other's brains out in bed. Maybe every once in a while I would want a romantic dinner at home or a walk on the beach or to go out on the town. I would be quite happy with my man working at McDonald's, as long as he is trying to move forward and take care of his responsibilities. I'm a simple kind of girl with a kinky, romantic twist on life.
Different strokes for different folks people but we all long for the same thing...something stable, healthy, and just for us. Think about it guys...really think about it and tell me what you think! I really want feedback on this one.
A healthy romantic relationship is about give and take, living, and growing. I know you are thinking, "That is so cliche" but hear me out for a minute. Being in a romantic relationship isn't about being with your partner all the time. In fact, a sign of an unhealthy relationship is being with your romantic partner ALL THE TIME! If you are with your girlfriend or boyfriend all the time, how can you appreciate them in the first place?
Couples need their separate alone time...if they don't get it then the relationship would just lose its luster. I'm not saying spend months or even weeks apart but at least spend a weekend or 2 a month away from your partner. And I'm talking about willing time apart. Counting the time you spend away from your partner because you are working or something along those lines DOES NOT COUNT! I know, at work you are probably missing your partner like crazy but trust me...being forcefully away from your partner isn't the same as willingly giving your partner space.
Having mutual time away from each other will give you something to look forward to when it IS time to be together. When you willingly spend time away from your partner, your mind is free to wonder and ponder, PLUS, it gives you time to do things that you need to get done. You can clean your house, finish up paperwork, think about future plans, and other things that when you're around the love of your life you just don't want to do because you want to spend all your time with them.
Another thing that most people don't realize is that the love of your life HAS to be your partner-in-crime in a sense. You guys have to have common ground or else, well, not to sound bitter or anything, it just ain't gonna last. And no amount of counseling or time apart is going to repair what was broken in the first place. If you are the kind of guy who likes to go out a couple of nights a week, loves to fish, and flop in front of your TV and play video games for long periods of time...you are going to need a girl who likes 2 out of 3 of those things. If you have a girlfriend who hates all 3 of the favorite things you like to do then...I'm pretty sure after a year or two, if the relationship lasts that long, you are going to either 1) grow bored of her or 2) grow annoyed with her. Both aren't good to feel towards your partner. This brings me to my next point...
Partners need to have a fair bit of common ground if you are going to be in a healthy relationship together but having EVERYTHING in common can be dangerous ground to walk on too. If you like all of the same things, it doesn't leave anywhere for you to grow together. You will fall into a cycle of same-ness it will leave you feeling uncomfortable and bored. You need something to thrive off of, need things to learn and new activities that you can try together. If you like football and your partner doesn't, you can have fun showing them the joys of it. If your partner likes art and it just isn't your thing, you can learn something by going with your partner to an art show. Having common interests yet having differences leads to giving and taking, which is essential to keeping the luster and life in a relationship!
If you are with your partner because of a materialistic reason, then you are staying in a relationship for ALL THE WRONG REASONS! Being with your partner because they have a job or a car isn't a good enough reason to be with someone. In fact, make a list of why you are with your partner and cross out anything that is physical or materialistic. Some examples: because they have a car, because they have a job, because they have money, because they give you a ride, because they give you stuff, because they are sexy, because they agree to do most of what you say, because they have big boobs, because they have a pretty smile, because they love you, ect. All these are NOT reasons to be with your partner.
You should want to be with your partner because they make you feel good, because they care about you, they help you better yourself, because you enjoy time with them. You should want to be with your partner because you feel that even if the relationship ended, you would still have a great friend and someone who will always be there for you, through thick or thin. Someone that you see in your life for a long time because of the simple fact that they help make life easier for you not because of the sex, car, or money but because they want to share life with you at an easy, encouraging pace.
You might be thinking right now that, with the way I'm talking, you should be thinking about marriage from the first date. NO, that is not what I'm saying. I can understand that there are people out there that AREN'T looking for forevers and always but something steady and enjoyable. Even if you only want something commit-full in the here and now, you still have to consider these possibilities. Relationships are like oceans, even when they are calm, you can still see and feel the changing of the tide and the movement of the water. If your relationship has stopped moving forward, if there isn't any more movement, not even a change in the tide then it is time for you two to go your separate ways.
A relationship should always be moving, changing, growing together yet growing individually as well. It should be something familiar yet always bring something new to the table every once in a while. There shouldn't be okay days, there should be great days. And yes, there will be bad days! EVERY relationship is going to have bad days and hard patches but you have to think about why the bad days are happening. If you only have a great day every month or even every week...then maybe the person you are with just isn't healthy for you.
In the end, these are only the basics and guidelines to a health romantic relationship. Everyone is different and everyone wants something different from the person they are with. Some people are just looking to fill the loneliness while others are looking for something that could be forever and always, with or without marriage.
I'm the kind of person that I could be in a relationship and not really take it personal if I was with that person for 7 years and still not heard "The Question". Now, mind you, if we've been together for 12 years we might as well get married because we have to be CRAZY about each other if we are still together that long in the state the world is in now a days. I want someone that I can sit down and play video games with one day and go out to a car show the next and then the next day just screw each other's brains out in bed. Maybe every once in a while I would want a romantic dinner at home or a walk on the beach or to go out on the town. I would be quite happy with my man working at McDonald's, as long as he is trying to move forward and take care of his responsibilities. I'm a simple kind of girl with a kinky, romantic twist on life.
Different strokes for different folks people but we all long for the same thing...something stable, healthy, and just for us. Think about it guys...really think about it and tell me what you think! I really want feedback on this one.
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