What Is A Healthy Romantic Relationship?

One of my online buddies asked me about this the other day and it made me realize that not alot of people know the answer to it. It will be different for different people but the basics of it will be the same.

A healthy romantic relationship is about give and take, living, and growing. I know you are thinking, "That is so cliche" but hear me out for a minute. Being in a romantic relationship isn't about being with your partner all the time. In fact, a sign of an unhealthy relationship is being with your romantic partner ALL THE TIME! If you are with your girlfriend or boyfriend all the time, how can you appreciate them in the first place?

Couples need their separate alone time...if they don't get it then the relationship would just lose its luster. I'm not saying spend months or even weeks apart but at least spend a weekend or 2 a month away from your partner. And I'm talking about willing time apart. Counting the time you spend away from your partner because you are working or something along those lines DOES NOT COUNT! I know, at work you are probably missing your partner like crazy but trust me...being forcefully away from your partner isn't the same as willingly giving your partner space.

Having mutual time away from each other will give you something to look forward to when it IS time to be together. When you willingly spend time away from your partner, your mind is free to wonder and ponder, PLUS, it gives you time to do things that you need to get done. You can clean your house, finish up paperwork, think about future plans, and other things that when you're around the love of your life you just don't want to do because you want to spend all your time with them.

Another thing that most people don't realize is that the love of your life HAS to be your partner-in-crime in a sense. You guys have to have common ground or else, well, not to sound bitter or anything, it just ain't gonna last. And no amount of counseling or time apart is going to repair what was broken in the first place. If you are the kind of guy who likes to go out a couple of nights a week, loves to fish, and flop in front of your TV and play video games for long periods of time...you are going to need a girl who likes 2 out of 3 of those things. If you have a girlfriend who hates all 3 of the favorite things you like to do then...I'm pretty sure after a year or two, if the relationship lasts that long, you are going to either 1) grow bored of her or 2) grow annoyed with her. Both aren't good to feel towards your partner. This brings me to my next point...

Partners need to have a fair bit of common ground if you are going to be in a healthy relationship together but having EVERYTHING in common can be dangerous ground to walk on too. If you like all of the same things, it doesn't leave anywhere for you to grow together. You will fall into a cycle of same-ness it will leave you feeling uncomfortable and bored. You need something to thrive off of, need things to learn and new activities that you can try together. If you like football and your partner doesn't, you can have fun showing them the joys of it. If your partner likes art and it just isn't your thing, you can learn something by going with your partner to an art show. Having common interests yet having differences leads to giving and taking, which is essential to keeping the luster and life in a relationship!

If you are with your partner because of a materialistic reason, then you are staying in a relationship for ALL THE WRONG REASONS! Being with your partner because they have a job or a car isn't a good enough reason to be with someone. In fact, make a list of why you are with your partner and cross out anything that is physical or materialistic. Some examples: because they have a car, because they have a job, because they have money, because they give you a ride, because they give you stuff, because they are sexy, because they agree to do most of what you say, because they have big boobs, because they have a pretty smile, because they love you, ect. All these are NOT reasons to be with your partner.

You should want to be with your partner because they make you feel good, because they care about you, they help you better yourself, because you enjoy time with them. You should want to be with your partner because you feel that even if the relationship ended, you would still have a great friend and someone who will always be there for you, through thick or thin. Someone that you see in your life for a long time because of the simple fact that they help make life easier for you not because of the sex, car, or money but because they want to share life with you at an easy, encouraging pace.

You might be thinking right now that, with the way I'm talking, you should be thinking about marriage from the first date. NO, that is not what I'm saying. I can understand that there are people out there that AREN'T looking for forevers and always but something steady and enjoyable. Even if you only want something commit-full in the here and now, you still have to consider these possibilities. Relationships are like oceans, even when they are calm, you can still see and feel the changing of the tide and the movement of the water. If your relationship has stopped moving forward, if there isn't any more movement, not even a change in the tide then it is time for you two to go your separate ways.

A relationship should always be moving, changing, growing together yet growing individually as well. It should be something familiar yet always bring something new to the table every once in a while. There shouldn't be okay days, there should be great days. And yes, there will be bad days! EVERY relationship is going to have bad days and hard patches but you have to think about why the bad days are happening. If you only have a great day every month or even every week...then maybe the person you are with just isn't healthy for you.

In the end, these are only the basics and guidelines to a health romantic relationship. Everyone is different and everyone wants something different from the person they are with. Some people are just looking to fill the loneliness while others are looking for something that could be forever and always, with or without marriage.

I'm the kind of person that I could be in a relationship and not really take it personal if I was with that person for 7 years and still not heard "The Question". Now, mind you, if we've been together for 12 years we might as well get married because we have to be CRAZY about each other if we are still together that long in the state the world is in now a days. I want someone that I can sit down and play video games with one day and go out to a car show the next and then the next day just screw each other's brains out in bed. Maybe every once in a while I would want a romantic dinner at home or a walk on the beach or to go out on the town. I would be quite happy with my man working at McDonald's, as long as he is trying to move forward and take care of his responsibilities. I'm a simple kind of girl with a kinky, romantic twist on life.

Different strokes for different folks people but we all long for the same thing...something stable, healthy, and just for us. Think about it guys...really think about it and tell me what you think! I really want feedback on this one.